Is your worship compelling?

“What did I miss?

A parent told me that their son asked them this question one Sunday evening since he could not attend worship that morning. It was asked with genuine interest, tinged with some regret for not being about to be there in person. The parent was taken aback because it was the first time in a long time that genuine interest was shown.

Notice that the question was not, “How was the sermon?” “What songs did you sing?” or “Was there flan coffee hour?” It was a question of belonging and missing the community and not a tactical one about how good or bad something was.

One of the revelations that the pandemic unveiled is that, given the choice, folks stopped attending worship. Pre-pandemic, obligation, duty, and habit were motivators enough, but by releasing those expectations, many were left with little reason to return to old worship patterns, let alone show up for the first time. Of course, church life has changed, and we can debate the future of worship, but I am not yet ready to give up on a central gathering event. For it is in these moments when people cross boundaries of life that might not otherwise be crossed, they can bring their struggles of life, and are invited into and nurtured in their relationship with God.

So yes, I believe that worship can be a growth opportunity, especially for progressive church communities.

I have found that one of the ways that churches grow is by cultivating and nurturing belonging at some central gathering, generally their worship service. Too often, however, we get caught up in tactics, fixes, and production rather than creating and curating an experience that is integrated and consistent with the values that we profess to hold. I have found that folks don’t really care about the specifics of how worship is done as long as there is an expression of faith that is, dare I say, authentic and relevant. Yes, crafting meaningful liturgy matters, tending the gathering space matters, and being well-prepared matters, but not to the detriment of creating an experience of belonging. When we choose belonging as our foundational intention and driving motivator for worship, we create a touch point for folks that draws folks into a relationship with one another and with the divine. And when this happens, we provide a compelling experience that folks will not want to miss.

Focusing on worship, let me pose three reasons why our worship services may NOT be compelling or express belonging — and what to do about it. Don’t worry, there are more than this, but this should be adequate to get the juices flowing.

1. Theological and Ecclesiastic Arrogance: I once heard a white politician, when asked why more African Americans did not support him, respond with, “Well, if they just took the time to learn about me, they would support me.” He put the onus on those who did not know him to get to know him rather than express how he might better share his beliefs in ways that others would be compelled to get to know him better. Too many of our progressive churches also hold this perspective when it comes to our theological views, both in how we expect people to find us as well as what they should navigate once they arrive. After all, our theology is so good that people should know, understand, and appreciate what we believe. Yes, I believe we hold a better version of the gospel, but church by osmosis is not a tactic that cultivates belonging.
   What to do: Make a few assumptions and do not make people guess what is next. Over-explain if you need to and guide people through the worship experience as if it’s their first time. Most importantly, don’t make people feel lost, as if they are sitting on the outside trying to figure out what they are supposed to be doing. . . as if they do not belong. If we want people to feel as if they belong, we must act as if we actually believe they do.
   
2. Theological and Ideological Inconsistency: If a church is going to claim that they hold progressive theological values such as expansive language for God, created non-binary understandings of gender, the holiness of diverse family structures, etc. those values must be reflected in all aspects of worship. It is so jarring for me to be in a space that talks about LGBTQIA+ affirmation and gender fluidity but then gendered references in scripture are not deconstructed, binary musical lyrics go unchallenged, and much of the service does not reflect the progressive values that a community claims to hold. When we let inconsistency slide, our professed beliefs ring hollow, which, for those searching for open and affirming spaces, translates as lazy, hypocritical, and performative.
   What to do: Do the work, challenge the norms, and trust the community’s capacity and willingness to shift. For instance, if the community believes that pronouns are an important gesture to communicate welcome, be consistent both verbally and in any written bulletins, building signage, welcome nametags, etc. Change the imagery norms or at least acknowledge problematic language and imagery in music, prayers, scripture etc. . . . or don’t use those resources. Do not let inconsistency slide.
   
3. BORING: I have heard progressive pastors in the past say things like, “Well we could grow too if we were willing to do X.” First, I do not think that is true. Growth is difficult, no matter one’s theological perspective. Second, I think it’s an excuse to avoid the hard work of communicating a theological perspective with energy, creativity, and imagination. We are so allergic to the idea that we might be considered “one of those churches” that we have made the main purpose and measure of worship — to make it through alive. In our caution to not be emotionally manipulative (A good caution BTW), we have removed emotional exploration altogether. Hate to break it to you, but many of our progressive worship services are not as moving as we would like to believe them to be. We use too many words, we have made rituals mundane, we are guarded in our emotions, and we have abdicated our responsibility to create space where the Spirit is expected and assumed will move our hearts, minds, and body. We have a wonderfully liberating theology, but somehow our main lens for sharing it is measured restraint.
   
   What to do: How to make your services more energizing is a hard one because of personality, style, etc. Still, three things to try that are not about theology but about freedom of the spirit are these: laugh more, move more, and share more. Good god, we need to laugh more in worship, not only as a way to invite a loosening of the Spirit, but as a way to remember to take our faith seriously, but ourselves not so much. We need to creatively move more during worship, whether through worship stations, guided movements, or putting our bodies in different spaces for worship; sitting still, face-forward for an hour + gets old. Lastly, we need to share more about our humanity. Without engaging in group therapy, we must find ways to be more vulnerable, share more of our collective humanity, and connect more deeply across common struggles, hopes, and celebrations.
   
   A word about preaching. For preachers, I know that “be a more dynamic preacher that will pack the pews” is an unfair expectation that places undue pressure upon a preacher and opens us up to the possibility of “cult of personality” growth. For congregants tempted to say, “If we just had a better preacher, we would grow.” I guarantee that there are reasons you are not growing that have nothing to do with the dynamism of your preacher. That said, boring, disconnected, sterile sermons do a great deal of harm and can severely hinder growth. So much can be done with that preaching moment if we could only dispel the myth that there is only one good way to preach [Insert name of charismatic speaker here]. The best preachers in my life are not the best because of their style. They are good preachers because they move my soul. They name commonalities in life, help me to make sense of the chaos of the world, communicate love for my journey of faith, and are authentically and honestly them. Yes, there is risk in being vulnerable and transparent, but if the preacher is unwilling to take that risk, why on earth would anyone else?

You will notice that I have not mentioned style. While I am NOT advocating for traditional and formal worship as the future of church growth, we must also not fall into the trap that a good band or savvy technology will save the church. I have been part of and believe that any style can generate a compelling worship experience and growth.

For progressive theological worship settings, we must get away from the idea that our theology is compelling enough to make up for all the ways that our worship is not. I deeply believe that progressive theology shared well and shared boldly is desperately needed in the world today, but if we have fewer and fewer folks getting to know and embrace it, our impact will further diminish. This is not the future I hope to see and worship for most congregations must play a vital role in cultivating a future of growth.

Blessings on the journey.

Discuss.

*This post is one of a series of exploratory ideas for a book project that I am developing. It will eventually turn into a book on growth for progressive churches and is meant to inspire, provoke, and shape meaningful conversations about congregational growth and communal impact. While these posts are not being shared in any particular order, the project will be framed as a series of big questions for communities to address when exploring possibilities for growth. More questions and topics will be introduced over the next few months, but if you have a good fundamental question about church growth that should be asked, feel free to send it my way.

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